


Drabbles

by Teakany



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Arranged Marriage, Death, Dysfunctional Relationships, Frozen (2013) References, M/M, Omega Verse, Pretending, Song Parody, Trust Issues, Unrequited Love, saying good bye, so much swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-28
Updated: 2016-08-21
Packaged: 2018-05-29 17:17:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6385273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Teakany/pseuds/Teakany
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just a bunch of little drabbles/one shot I write.  some unfinished stories, one shots I'm less confident in etc.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. PruMano- We hurt each other so sweetly

**Author's Note:**

> Some of these aren't that great, others are stories and such I've started, and then given up on etc. Some attempts at Germano (I've accepted I'm just not great at writing Ludwig XD) If there's particular interest in certain chapters or unfinish bits I may decide to continue them, but I doubt it. 
> 
> that being said, I'm also never against co-writing if anyone feels an intense desire to work with me on something they see? XD

It wasn’t bittersweet. That would be giving it too much credit. Bitterness left a foul taste in your mouth, but it could be washed away with enough alcohol. This was worse. It was like a burning- no a sweet cutting… It was like swallowing shards of broken candy and feeling them rip your throat open and there is nothing you can do to ease the pain because _you can’t reach it_. You can only try and enjoy the taste in spite of the pain.

That’s what his kisses were. That’s what every touch felt like. Beautifully wonderful and painful. Familiar yet foreign. It probably wasn’t fair. No, scratch that, It wasn’t fair at all, but I couldn’t help it. He knew it as well, I knew he knew why we did this. 

I gasped as his hands ran down my sides, nails lightly scraping and causing me to arch back with a wanton moan. _”Do you like that?”_ he growled, rough german catching me as I nodded. my eyes were closed, they always were when we did this, but I could feel his breath against my throat, teasingly hot before he drug his tongue across my pulse point, fixating his mouth there and sucking to leave a mark. I wouldn’t argue the raised red bites, I couldn’t let him stand in for his brother without giving him something that made him feel like he was wanted when he looked at me.

With my eyes closed, I could ignore the white hair and red eyes. I could focus on his voice as he pitched it deeper in lust, the feeling of the muscle under scarred skin. I could pretend it was all meant for me. I ran my hands up, lacing them into the messy locks, pretending he’d just left out the product… or that it had simply stopped working in the catch of everything. Pulling him down I locked our mouths together, earning a groan as I wasted no time twisting our tongues together, tasting the beer there. Keeping my mouth busy, kept me from speaking.

He tried, I would give him that much. He made an effort in convincing me he was in love with me. He was almost good enough to make me believe, but I knew Gilbert wasn’t really with me right now either, and If I opened my mouth, it would shatter his illusion. Feliciano would never sound so rough, he’d never be so foul mouthed. He’d also know what sweet things to whisper, but luckily he chose to overlook the silence that my brother never would have granted in favour of keeping the physical similarity. 

It was another stab if I was being honest. The one I wanted here was in bed with my stupid little brother… and the one I was actually in bed with? He wanted my brother as well. I wasn’t really wanted at all. I was thankful the slender fingers chose that moment to wrap around my cock, because it gave me a reason to twist the sob that caught in my throat into a more favourable noise. 

I’d figured all this out only a few weeks into the mess of a relationship. I had stupidly believed he called me Italy because he was trying to stroke my complex, make me feel important, try and make me feel like, for once, I was being held above my little brother. Maybe that’s what he believed he was doing, but when I had opened my eyes and moaned his name for the first time (trying to stroke his ego in return and push past selfishness), I watched him falter at seeing my eyes and hearing my voice, and things had ground to a halt... It was another difference between me and my brother, one of the very few ones. my hazel eyes sharper and so different from the rounded amber of Feliciano’s that it was unmistakeable. 

Since then I kept everything shut. Ignoring the deep pain, focusing on the sweetness that came with having someone so similar to what I wanted, with being able to pretend. letting it bleed me dry for the high the sugar gave me. It would have been easier if I could have hated him, but in truth when he had come to me, I hadn’t hesitated a second because I had honestly thought someone had finally seen me past Feliciano. It turned out, he just could see Feliciano in me and I was damaged enough to accept that.

I couldn’t hold it back, crying out loudly as he plunged in. I shuddered and clung, arms around his shoulders as I buried my face in his neck, inhaling his scent deeply. Even as I moaned I was conscious of the delicate balance that kept him happy, pitching the sounds of pleasure higher in the same way he pitched lower. It left me hoarse the next day, but as far as I was concerned it was a small price to pay for my delusions. 

He started moving his hips, plunging in and drawing out in perfect time. I shuddered biting my lip to keep from saying his brother’s name. I could imagine that it was the same pain for him. But that’s why this worked. Both overshadowed by our own little brothers, both wanting what we couldn’t have in the others. 

There was more low pitched words growled into my ear, broken by grunts and gasps. My nails dug in as I held on for the ride, letting go so my imagination could run wild instead of focusing on the painful realities. It was Ludwig's arms wrapping around my waist, it was his teeth biting down on my throat, his voice, breathless and wrecked, encouraging me to cum. I threw my head back, voice muted as I heeded the order, coating us both in my release. His speed picked up, rushing to join me, the broken call of my countries name falling off his lips as he plunged in deep, spilling himself. 

I clung there while he finished, trying to ignore the stab of the name he called in favour of pretending he was someone else as well. I was thankful for the position as I fought the stinging in my eyes back, keeping them closed tight for just another minute, just a little more delusion… We laid that way in the afterglow, both panting and trying to cling to the false moment, without acknowledging it. 

When he pulled back, I felt lips press to my forehead. I opened my eyes, trying not to look disappointed at the weak smile on the pale face. “Ich liebe dich” He whispered. and I admired the fact that he can look in my eyes and say it when it was such an obvious, but needed, lie… 

I could feel my face heating, looking down as I muttered “Ti amo”. He dipped down, kissing me gently before rolling off. As usual, I turn into him, resting my head on his chest, closing my eyes again and focusing on the steady strong heartbeat, trying to grasp the sweetness again, as the shards continued to leave their sharp sting as he nosed in against my hair knowing he was trying to imagine it a few shade lighter.  
.  
We fell asleep like that, Gilbert politely ignoring the wetness against his chest as my ability to ignore the pain of the situation crumbled, the last thing I heard as I fell off is a heart breaking murmured of “I’m sorry”


	2. Germano- The taste of apple cake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> see, I had a bit more plot for this one, but every time I look at it I blank out or start thinking "nawh it sucks" and leave it. So, it's a one shot now XD

This was suppose to be his brother's position. The whole thing should have been Feliciano. Whoever the hell thought of making him the Omega while his brother was a Beta, was fucking hilarious. Why not make him suffer this?

Feliciano was cute, submissive, cheerful, and yet he was a Beta. No scent, no scent reaction… Pretty much worthless in the breeding game.

Romano on the other hand was rough, crude and definitely not as pleasant. Yet, here he was, an Omega. He was heating four times a year on perfect schedule. His body conditions were optimal, that slight layer of fat over his curved hips and stomach just right. He was small and unassuming looking. Basically, if he could be gagged, he’d be perfect for some greedy Alpha… 

His future husband however had little say in how he felt about Lovino’s attitude. Arranged marriages were commonplace, and Lovino may have even looked forward to this. He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t, on some level, been excited by the thought as a child and even as a teen on occasion. Meeting the Alpha who’d be there to take care of him, being able to start it all knowing he’d be well paired and not have to struggle in life while he had children and raised them at home. But that joy had never been easy to feel, slipping away easily in the presence of his brother. 

When Feliciano and Lovino were small, his outgoing and cheerful, talented brother had been doted on. Feliciano was everyone’s sunshine. Lovino, who has been quieter and less skilled was often forgotten and it had made him bitter and insecure. 

Of course, everyone had been happy enough when they hit the age that orientation came out to find out Romano was an Omega. But that had once again been overshadowed by the disappointment that sweet little Feli was a Beta. He’d heard what they had said when they thought neither boy was listening “why couldn’t it have been the other way around with those boys. Feliciano would have made a prefect Omega…” 

That pattern had continued to the point where he now expected it. An hour with the twins and people would be enamoured with Feliciano, and there would be a look, if not a word, of regret that his brother was not the Omega. Even his future husband had gotten that look in the first meeting. 

The Alpha's older brother, Gilbert, had been chaperoning on Ludwig's side, Feliciano on Lovino's. It was considered more comfortable for a future couple for this to happen with siblings instead of parents… Lovino would have preferred his grandpa being there honestly. The Alpha’s had spent it staring at his brother like he was a damn first place ribbon. Lovino was just the runners up prize his husband would be stuck with and he knew that. 

Not that Lovino could claim he hadn’t done the same really. By the end of that first meeting, he found himself wishing he’d been paired off with the older of the two, He could have stomached Gilbert. He seemed more laid back, not so much like he had a stick up his ass. He also didn’t blush when he looked at Feliciano. Lovino wouldn’t admit that stung though… Not until he got back into the privacy of his own room at least.

“What the hell are you so excited about dumbass?” Lovino snapped as Feliciano bounced around the room humming, helping to get Lovino set up for another damn meeting. This one would be the third, and it would be less heavily watched. Feliciano and Gilbert would stay in sight, but far enough back that, unless Lovino yelled,which was a possibility, they wouldn’t hear what was said. 

“What do you mean fratello?” Feliciano asked with his usual blinding cheeriness. “Shouldn’t I be happy? We get to see Gilbert and Luddy right?” Lovino almost growled, not appreciating the nickname the blonde he was going to be stuck with had received. Like Ludwig needed one more thing to fucking blush at. One more memory to look off distantly at in the future… another image to focus on when he was suppose to be there with Lovino. 

“Why would I be happy to see those bastards?” he grumbled. Feliciano frowned and sighed, picking up the brush and moving to work on his brother’s hair. 

Lovino looked down and simply sat while he did. Sometimes he wondered if his brother felt the same as all of them… that their positions should have been reversed. Did Feliciano hate him too? That was fine. He didn’t care. He didn’t give a shit if everyone hated him for something that wasn’t his fucking fault. Tears were welling in his eyes when he push Feliciano's hands away “I’m getting dressed” He grumbled getting up and turning his face away. He hated this… 

Lovino walked like he was suppose to to the meeting, a half step behind his brother. It was some protection bullshit. If they had had an Alpha brother, it would have been his role, not Feliciano’s, to be an escort. Sadly, Feli was what he was stuck with 

They came into the garden where the two Alpha’s waited. Gilbert was leaned easily against a tree, hands in his pockets and blazer undone, while Ludwig stood, hands behind his perfectly straight back, not a hair out of place. It was driving Lovino nuts already. 

His own attire was more casual and easy to move in, a simple cream coloured shirt, cardigan, jeans and comfortable shoes. They were sitting in a garden and eating, not fucking going to a restaurant where you’d get kicked out if your shirt wasn’t perfectly pressed. Literally, sitting on the ground, on a blanket, and eating. 

“ Lovino, Feliciano” he said stiffly Gilbert gave a simple wave form behind him and Lovino looked at the ground. 

“Hey there Luddy, Hi Gilbert! We’re gonna go over there and let you two have your fun! Be nice to my Fratello okay? And you try and be nice too Lovino! okay bye!” Feliciano said with a large smile, bouncing off. Lovino glanced up and sure as fuck, the damn German was blushing. 

“Let’s just get this over with” Lovino grumbled pushing back the hurt of it. He turned walking towards the blanket that Ludwig had already set out, once again, perfect. Lovino sat, purposefully wrinkling a corner as he did. 

Ludwig sighed and followed, and Lovino watched as he sat across from him, busying himself with bringing things out. “You look nice today…” he said lamely. Lovino didn’t reply past a doubtful hum, so Ludwig tried again, “It’s a nice day too don’t you think?” 

“Yeah i guess..” He grumbled resting his cheek on his hand, elbow on his knee. He was going to have to deal with this, he could at least not ignore him completely. He looked towards the blonde who was pulling out a container of Potato salad and pulled a face. He hated Potatoes… “Got anything _good_ in there?” he asked eyeing to potato concoction like it might bite him. 

Ludwig looked at him with an eyebrow raised, “uh… well, What do you like?” He sorted through what was in the basket. 

“Is there anything with tomatoes?” He asked as he moved his chin to rest in his hand instead, looking at the basket. Ludwig frowned deeper but eventually smiled as he pulled out a smaller container, opening a salad that was mostly Tomatoes. 

“I have this” He said holding it out. 

Lovino nodded and reached out to take it and a fork, “Gratzi…” 

When you saw this part in movies, it was when the Alpha would be charming, and the Omega would be sweet. Ludwig would feed him, they’d laugh and maybe wind up holding hands or sit cuddled up by the end. but for them? they ate in silence on opposite sides of the blanket.

Lovino risked a glance over at his brother who was frowning, Gilbert wore the same look… Fantastic, so he and this Alpha he was suppose to marry must look as awkward as he felt. he turned back around and caught the Ludwig was looking the same way, apparently coming to the same conclusion…

Well, until the stupid potato eater started blushing again, He turned his head, and just as Lovino thought, feliciano was there, jumping up and down, waving… Ludwig noticed Lovino noticing him, “Your brother is… energetic” Ludwig said and the bastard had the nerve to sound impressed. 

Lovino grunted hoping it would be dropped. It wasn’t “You don’t see many Beta’s like that, it’s almost like he’s-”

He was almost sure Ludwig didn’t see the water that Lovino threw in his face coming, but he didn’t stick around to see if he looked shocked. Red faced himself he got up and stormed off. He didn’t need this shit. He didn’t need to sit and listen to more doting over his fucking brother. This was suppose to be about him right?! One fucking thing not suppose to be about perfect Feliciano was apparently too fucking much to ask!

“Fratello?!” came a call from behind him. He wasn’t stopping,

“What the hell was that about?” Gilbert's voice raised

“I’m fine.” Ludwig’s voice hurried “Verdammt, Wait!” 

Ludwig's footsteps were fast approaching. Lovino knew he could outrun him but he spun around instead “What the hell do you want now shit head?!” He snapped causing the Alpha to back off a step in shock.

“What is all this about?!” Ludwig asked, confused, obviously… 

“You are as stupid as you look!” He snarled “Obviously you don’t fucking wanna be here, I don’t want you here either dumb ass!” He went to turn, but Ludwig grabbed his wrist,

“What!? What the hell are you talking about?! When did I say i didn’t want to be here?”

“It’s obvious, now let me fucking go!” Lovino growled yanking his wrist away, pissed off as he felt tears sting his eyes. 

“Lovino!” It was Ludwig’s turn to snap and Irritatingly Lovino’s body snapped to frozen at the tone. Ludwig sighed his voice softening to exhausted, his hand held out, “Just come sit back down. We only have a few weeks to get to know each other before everything starts...” 

a week, Lovino corrected in his mind. His heat would be starting, like clock work, in a week and a day, Which meant the bastard was right… in exactly six days, his pre-heat would start, and the ceremony would happen quickly, shoving them into the honeymoon suite for eight days until Lovino’s heat was done and it was clear they were bonded. Then they got shipped off to start their new happy life together in a house that will have been bought and furnished for them... And it didn't matter at all how much Lovino Argued either.

The Omega’s cheeks were red at the thought, his jaw set tight. “Fine” He grumbled turning to walk back, ignoring the hand. he heard a soft sigh, but Ludwig followed. This time he sat with his back angled towards to two still suspicious looking chaperons. Maybe he was little less of a moron then Lovino thought. 

The three hour time slot they had ticked by faster then he had anticipated. Lovino couldn’t even say it had been overly horrible after the blonde wasn’t looking at the other two. They didn’t talk much, but the little they did was fine… Lovino refused to believe he was enjoying himself though. He wouldn’t acknowledge that the green shirt Ludwig wore under his blazer was actually a good colour on him. Or that his eyes were making the sky look a dull blue… And he sure as hell wasn’t having his heart skip when the bastard smiled!

Either way, it was over. Ludwig stood first and put his hand out to help Lovino up. The Italian reluctantly took it, allowing himself to be helped up. The chaperons still kept their distance and he could hear their voices chattering away behind him, both sounding excited about, who fucking cares what! He was about to turn and tell them to shut the fuck up when Ludwig pulled him behind a tree, his back bumping against it gently.

Lovino’s eyes widened as he looked up at the blonde. “W-what the fuck are you doing?” And why was this bastard red now?! 

“I just... “ He just kept staring! Cheeks stained red. Lovino opened his mouth to tell him off, but couldn’t… the blondes lips were on his. He froze eyes open in shock standing still while Ludwig’s mouth moved against his unresponsive ones. The Alpha pulled back unsurely. “I’m sorry, I-” Ludwig started after looking at the Omega’s stunned face, but this time it was Lovino’s turn to cut him off, Grabbing the Germans collar and pulling him back down into a hard kiss. He didn’t know why he was doing it, Maybe temporary insanity? But this time both pairs of lips moved together and Lovino felt his head cloud, his heart racing. his hands moved gently to rest on his chest, Ludwig took a step forward, his hands falling to span over Lovino’s hips. 

“Here they are! You guys hide really well!” Feliciano’s voice called out cutting the moment short, Ludwig pulling back harshly, leaving Lovino, standing even more stunned than ever.

“Jeez west, can’t even wait a couple weeks?” Came the snickering from Gilbert as the pair started getting closer, coming into proper view. 

Ludwig looked at Lovino apologetically, the Italian Omega’s hand at some point had come up to cover his mouth, the other crossed over his chest, face red and eyes wide again. “I’ll see you in about six days” Ludwig murmured. Lovino darkened at the Alpha's accuracy. The blonde shot a look of exhaustion at their approaching siblings before placing a kiss on Lovino’s forehead and moving back to walk towards his brother. “Let’s go Gilbert.” He said turning to walk towards the drive where their car was. 

Lovino didn’t move, continuing to stare into nothing. Even as his brother started talking to him, he was still processing “Fratello~ hey! Lovi~! wake up, are you okay? you’re really red! Luddy was really red too! did he do something you didn’t want because your really quiet. Lovino are you listening hey should I-”

“Shut up! I’m fine!” He finally snapped, dropping the hand away from his mouth to cross of his chest “Stupid bastard just reeked of sausages and it made me feel sick…” He grumbled pushing off the tree behind him, heading back towards the house. The taste of apple cake still on his lips.


	3. PruCan fade away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gilberts been hanging on for so long... But is it really doing anyone any good to prolong the inevitable?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's sad, it has a sad ending, and it's been collecting dust for a good few months.

“NO!” Matthew’s voice cried out as his hand clasped around the fading wrist pulling Gilbert back from where ever he had just been. his eyes were wide with surprise, the wrist shimmered, edging between gone and there, before returning to full visibility. he watched as Matthew let out a shaky breath. Damnit.. it was happening every day now…

Matthew moved to his chest, arms wrapping around his middle, face buried against his shoulder as he muttered “It’s okay Gil, you’re still here, you're here with me”. Gilbert could hear the tears behind the word, the reassuring meant for both of them. 

His arms wrapped protectively around the shaking blonde, a hand stroking the curls. Gil could feel the smaller man's heart beating a little too hard, his breath coming a little too fast and it made him ache “shhh birdie… It’s okay, I’m here… I’m here” he felt Matthew sob and his frown deepened further. 

This had started happening two years ago now. .. he was fading from memory, and with that, apparently existence itself. It had been an occasional occurrence at first. Only happening a handful of times in the first six months, now it was daily. 

Matthew had taken it upon himself to watch the Prussian ex nation constantly. Attempting all he could to keep him solidly there. The Canadian had even gone as far as refusing to sleep. Staying up for days until his body forced him to close his eyes for a few hours. The sleep was never long, nor was it peaceful, Gilbert watching with increasing worry. He would wake in a panic each time as well. Clutching ahold of him. 

Gilbert had only made the mistake of leaving him once while he slept. Matthew had taken two hours to calm, sitting in Gilbert's arms shaking. 

It had scared the albino at first, the thought of disappearing. He didn't want to die in the way that nations did. But as it dragged, the idea was settling in him, an acceptance of the inevitable. He only held on now for Matthew... but he was starting to question whether that was doing more harm than good. 

What would happen to him once Gilbert was gone? The question had started painfully, thoughts of Matthew screaming and crying, begging and bargaining to try and bring him back. It was a painful thought. Someone he loved so much in so much pain over him. Now when he asked himself, he thought of further down the line. Months after he was gone. .. Matthew would sleep again, he would eat, eventually he would smile and laugh like he use to... Gilbert wanted that for him. 

He had attempted the conversation before. Discussing what he wanted Matthew to do when he was gone. The smaller man had refused to listen, getting mad and insisting he wasn't going anywhere. He wouldn't qualify it as even a possibility. 

Gilbert looked down sadly at the blonde in his arms. A lump forming in his throat. He had been mauling over a possibility in his head now for weeks. Looking at every way it could be done, wondering if he could bring himself to go through with it... 

Matthew looked up. Dark circles under his bloodshot eyes "I love you" Gilbert offered a weak smile leaning down to kiss him 

"I love you to birdie" he had his answer. 

The pair were laying on the bed, Matthew barely clinging to consciousness. Thier activities had two reasons... Gilbert needed Matthew to fall asleep was one. 

The bigger one was it was a way to say goodbye. 

It didn't take much. Stroking Matthews hair, kissing his forehead, humming quietly. When he was finally truly out, Gilbert moved slowly. He took the note he had been working on for days. Hidden away for when it was needed. 

Inside he had written everything he loved about Matthew. All while apologizing for what he had to do now. He explained he was ready to let go, that holding on was becoming too hard. He said he didn't want Matthew to be sad, though he knew he was going to be. Telling him he needed to cheer up quickly. Get back to the things he enjoyed. He had signed it and left it with his necklace. 

He moved quickly from the house, not bothering with a coat despite the cold Canadian winter. He ran as far as he could into the woods behind their home. Going until he couldn't see any light from the house. 

He sat on the snowy ground. Enjoying the feeling of cold wet on his legs. Just enjoying the feeling of something for a moment. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small stack of pictures. He laid them in front of him. Ludwig, the Italy brothers, Francis, Antonio even Roddy and Liza. He smiled sadly saying his goodbyes silently. He had letters tucked away for them to, he knew Matthew would help them find their way sooner rather than later. .. 

Finally he took a breath, picking up the picture of the blushing blonde boy. He ran his fingers over it "I'm sorry birdie..." he mumbled with a shuddering sigh before he closed his eyes. 

It was harder than he expected, letting go, he kept getting frustrated with how long it was taking. But finally... he started to feel like he was floating. It was peaceful as it happened, and he couldn’t remember why it had ever seemed so scarey. He opened his eyes for the last time, the hand holding the picture barely visible anymore and smiled peaceful "guess the awesome Prussia is finally no more..." he closed his eyes, and everything was gone.


	4. Frozen Romano

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Romano is sick and tired of these stupid ass meetings!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't own frozen, Don't own Hetalia... Basically heard "let it go" so many times I snapped, and this came out XD read it with the music, it works XD

all you losers can suck on my balls  
not a fuck I've left to give  
a pile of stupid people  
who're all worth less than shit

The bastards yelling like they have to speak to live  
couldn't keep my cool, don't know why I tried

don't let them hear, don't swear so much  
be a good boy and please don't say cunt  
polite, don't glare, don't flip them off  
well now I'm done!

Fuck you all, fuck you all  
Can't shut my mouth anymore  
fuck you all, fuck you all  
shove your head up your own ass

I don't care  
what my bosses say  
I fucking hate this job  
No one calls me italy anyway

It's funny how some dickheads  
Make it so hard to bare  
and half you fucking nations,  
are just pussy's with weird hair!

It's time to fuck this shit right up  
to start yelling and just don't stop  
No way, they'll ever, just agree, not really

Fuck you all, fuck you all  
I am so sick of this shit  
fuck you all, fuck you all  
why don't you go sit on it!

I don't believe  
I'm here again  
will you all get stuffed

My patience waning by the minute god I swear  
I wish there wasn't a weapons restriction in this town  
just wait till the meeting is home in italy  
I'll poison everyone  
So I can get some peace!

Fuck you all, fuck you all  
you're seriously fucking stunned  
fuck you all fuck you all  
How is the world still whole?

you useless cunts  
piss me right off!  
I hope you all die  
wouldn't mourn your damn asses anyway


	5. Silence (Amecan)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> was looking at some writing prompts to get creativity flowing... didn't work well, but i got this out of it

Prompt: The silence woke her

 

The silence woke him. It was so loud and unnatural. The sound of nothingness in the house. No radio, no tossing or breathing in the bed, no one sneaking down to get a snack. Matthew had thought it might feel peaceful, but truthfully it felt horrible. 

It was horrible to wake and be alone and cold. 

He dragged the blankets up over his shoulder and laid back down, staring at the dust free space which had, until two nights ago, held Alfred’s alarm clock. The one that Matthew had complained about, the one the other blonde had needed to have on in order to sleep. He had complained the silence was deafening and now Matthew understood the sentiment. 

He sighed just to try and add some sound, though it echoed off the walls seemingly and left him feeling more empty. Matthew rolled over and grabbed the pillow that Alfred had left, his scent still clinging to it as the dim light from the half moon poured in the small window, disturbed by the street lights and far off glow of downtown. 

He’d thought this was for the best… he’d thought it wasn’t working… but had it really not been working? Or had he insisted it wasn’t because that’s what Matthew did. Hold someone suffocatingly close, then start to fear they’d leave leaving himself before they could. 

He’d held onto Alfred longer than anyone and near the end he was beside himself with anxiety, imagining it ending with in minutes or seconds, obsessing over the pain and having to be the one to deal the blow in the hopes of protecting himself a fraction…

But the other had looked so shocked. So completely taken off guard by the suddeness of it ending. He’d begged for a reason, things had been going so well! They were talking about getting married! But that had been the problem. Matthew letting himself believe he could be happy was foolish and risky… 

But was it? He curled in on himself closer. Wanting to hide from the silence when it was broken with a knock on the door. Anxiety tore through Matthew, what time was it? That stupid clock was gone, so he scrambled for his phone… 1 am… Alfred had always been the one to check on things in the middle of the night.. The knock came again and Matthew scrambled out of bed, wearing nothing but boxers and the oversized shirt Alfred had left behind as he made his way down the steps and to the door. 

When he cracked it open his eyes widened “H-Hello” He said sheepishly “What are you doing here?” 

“Sorry” Alfred said, the alarmclock held in his hand loosely, “I couldn’t sleep… It was too cold” He said with an attempt at a smile. “I wanted to know if i could come home yet… or if you were still scared”

“What? I wasn’t-”

“Mattie… come on… Everything’s going okay, you don’t have a reason for it, just getting more and more nervous which each nice thing I do then suddenly it’s over. Either you were scared, or you cheated on me…” 

“I wouldn’t-”

“I know” Alfred looked sheepish “So… do you really want me to go?” He asked, the charming smile tired and only half there. 

Matthew thought for a moment, but only a moment as the silence behind him boomed in his ears “no…” He said quietly, he grabbed the alarm clock with gentle fingers “I think I’m more scared of being stuck in the quiet…” He said in a hushed voice, arms wrapping around him before he could start to cry in relief. 

“Let’s get some sleep then. We’ll figure everything out in the morning after a nice, loud, hot night.” he said smiling. 

Matthew laughed through his tears and nodded, pressing his nose against the others chest “That sounds perfect”


End file.
